Depression has been my constant companion since I was 16 years old. It has oppressed me with its hopelessness, its despair, its sense of futility, anger, and deceit. Yes, deceit.
Depression lies to me.
Depression tells me there is no life for me.
Depression tells me there will be no moment better than this.
Depression tells me that I am alone, no one cares, and I am stuck here forever.
Depression steals my life.
Like a thief who comes in to “steal, kill, and destroy,” depression for years taught me that I had nothing, would be nothing, could have nothing.
I was hopeless.
But then I was reading John 10, about the Good Shepherd who watches over His sheep. The shepherd who knew his sheep by name – and the sheep knew their shepherd’s voice. Others might watch over the sheep, but abandon them in a time of peril. However, the Good Shepherd would die rather than let harm come to their sheep.
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it abundantly. – John 10:10
Jesus showed me that He doesn’t want me to live a life stuck in fear. Stuck in despair. Stuck in tears.
Jesus wants me to experience life.
A life of goodness. A life of joy. A life full of love, laughter, and peace. A life of calm. A life of kindness.
Jesus taught me that these are the things He gives freely.
As I began to turn to Him, to trust Him with my life, things began to change. I began to see that though depression still accompanies me, Jesus wants me to get better. Knowing I am never alone, I am not ashamed of my illness, but seek help. I tell people when I’m feeling overcome by inexplicable sadness. I seek comfort in my grief.
Instead of trusting the thief, I seek Jesus. I seek life.
This post is part of the larger Five Minute Friday community found on Kate Motaung’s blog. We write, for five minutes, together. No major edits. No second guesses, just writing to connect, to grow, to be. We would love to see you there.
This week’s writing prompt: Ten
At this point many of his disciples turned away and deserted him. Then Jesus turned to the Twelve and asked,“Are you also going to leave?”
Simon Peter replied, “Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words that give eternal life.